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” Her fingers traced the line of my chin.“That is probably a good definition of crazy.”Zoe sat up on the bed, and I realized all she was wearing was a sports bra and a pair of skimpy pink cotton panties. Her breasts were small but perfectly proportioned for her pixie-like body: conical peaks and perfect nipples outlined in the soft cotton. Her skin was lightly tanned and I could see faint tan lines.She looked at me and pointed at the wedding ring I wore on a gold chain around my neck, and then my iPad propped up on the bedside cabinet.She asked, “Are you married or something?” There was a hint of disappointment in her voice.The tone of her questions somewhat surprised me, and then I realized what she’d seen. I have an app on the iPad that I use as an alarm clock; the reason I like it is that it’s also a photo frame app. I’d loaded it with the best of the shots I’d taken of Sally and Mila in varying states of dress. There were a few of me with them. The photos were scrolling in a loop. Altamont Creative. Sarah Meriwether.Fuck.In one sense, I shouldn’t feel any different about being armed than when I wore a uniform. But I did.Getting dressed every morning as a cop was just ... natural. I’d grown up seeing Daddy leave with a dark uniform and a belt full of the tools of his trade.When I checked myself in the mirror before leaving for work at the cop shop, I didn’t really register the pistol, the cuffs, the baton, the rest of the equipment. Just accessories. The only thing I had to remember was to lock up all my weapons at home. Walker.But now it’s a conscious decision to place my .38 in one of my ever-present shoulder bags. And my pepper-spray too. On top. I’m licensed for concealed carry in Missouri and pepper-spray is legal in all 50 states.I’d much rather stop someone with capsaicin made from chili peppers than with a bullet. Although the one time I’d sprayed an attacker — Hugo Blenheim — it slowed him down, but didn’t incapacitate him like the training films.
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